Welcome to the Chaos
About Me
- UberDorkGirlie
- Quirky single mom of two monkeys. I used to beat up the kids that picked on the "special students" during recess. Now I work with those with chronic mental illness. I speak quite a few languages, enjoy coed naked underwater basket weaving, have an addiction to Sushi and humor is my defense mechanism. Arrogant people make my right eye twitch. I'm ambidextrously brained, I will knit for tattoos, I am the friend that everyone comes to for advice and bail money. I pride myself on keeping my eyes, ears, heart and mind open. Making me laugh goes a long way with me, I think the brain is the sexiest organ and I'm the kinda gal you can take anywhere and I'll have a good time. Other than that, I'm just me.
Followers
Reason #4,529,381 I Wonder How They Are My Parents
So, just got off the phone with my mom. She called to check on how I was taking to all my lovely new meds and how the girls’ weekend went.
Then she busted out this unique gift she has. You know how people play that telephone game? My mom seriously must have screwed that game up for everyone every time she played it. This time was just classic.
Mom: “Oh! Did you hear? They confirmed Obama is dead.”
Me: “WHAT!?!??! HOLY SHIT!!!! WHO KILLED HIM!?!?!?!? WHEN!?!? WHERE!?!?!? OMG!!!!” *booting up laptop*
Mom: “Well we did of course. Long time coming too.”
Me: “WE DID WHAT!?!?!” *light bulb clicks as I realize this is my mom I’m talking to* *deep breath* “Mom, do you mean O S A M A ? As in bin Laden???”
Mom: “Oh yeah, hee hee, him.”
Me: *BIGGEST FACEPALM EVER*
I swear my sister’s years of taunting me by saying I was left in a basket on the doorstep by a bunch of gypsies and mom and dad just kept me because they felt sorry for me cuz I was ugly and all really feels like the truth sometimes. Smart gypsies. Gypsies that know the difference between Obama and Osama. My mom even voted for the guy. Obama that is. At least I hope she got it right on the ballot. If not, secret service are probably monitoring them.
8:33 PM
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Labels:
family,
How The Hell Am I Their Daughter?,
things I know
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- you know I've lost it when I'm quoting Beyonce
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1 comments:
It's ok. I often wonder how I ended up so strangely when my parents are at least sortof normal. --The Awkward Engingeer
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