Welcome to the Chaos

You have stumbled upon the new blog (i.e. random babblings) of a quirky single mom. A shoot-from-the-hip, anti-pink (yet almost gaggingly perky), non-traditional, can cuss like a sailor but loves insanely and has the save the world syndrome gal who is bracing for a future as a Crazy Cat Lady though she secretly hopes like hell it doesn't come true. Enjoy your stay and feel free to say hi- I don't bite. Well, unless we're dating and you are into that type of thing or you contain peanut butter. >;-)

About Me

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Quirky single mom of two monkeys. I used to beat up the kids that picked on the "special students" during recess. Now I work with those with chronic mental illness. I speak quite a few languages, enjoy coed naked underwater basket weaving, have an addiction to Sushi and humor is my defense mechanism. Arrogant people make my right eye twitch. I'm ambidextrously brained, I will knit for tattoos, I am the friend that everyone comes to for advice and bail money. I pride myself on keeping my eyes, ears, heart and mind open. Making me laugh goes a long way with me, I think the brain is the sexiest organ and I'm the kinda gal you can take anywhere and I'll have a good time. Other than that, I'm just me.


Why I Now Love April Fool's Day

Most of my life I've been the Debbie Downer of April Fool's Day. My inner Spock (when properly coffeenaited) is pretty quick. So, I was hard to get. I guess the harder you are to get (in this case only for me) the harder people try. Over the years people have gone to some pretty great lengths to catch me unawares. Either way, it was a day I was completely "meh" over.

Until 7 years ago and a case of heartburn. The only time in my grown up life I ever got heartburn was when I was prego with Grace. I was home on the 1st, though I can't remember why. Morning started normal. Then I felt it- heartburn. It had only been oh 7 months ish since I had Eldest so I was hoping it was risidual or something. And then I counted. Eh only a day late, surely that wasn't anything.

Then I panicked and called one of my best friends with "I think I might be pregnant." You know that someone knows you inside and out when you call them on April Fool's and say that and their response isn't "ha ha April Fool's" it's "Um, you've been pregnant before hon so if you think you are, you probably are- go get a test!"

So, off I went to Walgreen's and back I came with two tests (we always do two, I have no idea why) and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Don't judge. And 10 minutes later I was sitting on the couch FREAKING OUT as I stared at the double-lined stick. I called her back crying "HOW AM I GOING TO HANDLE TWO OF THEM!?!? " I was terrified. I hadn't really gotten fully used to being a mommy yet and Eldest was planned. We wanted two but I so was not expecting them to be so close together. Her response was "you'll figure it out and it'll be fine." And she was right.

Telling Father of the Year was a totally different beast. I sat there wondering when I should tell him. If I told him today he'd think I was kidding. If I told him the next day, he'd scream I waited. Either way I was screwed. So, I made him a card and waited until he got home. Then Eldest and I gave him the card. Then he screamed about it being a shitty April Fool's joke and stayed pissed off the entire night. I showed him the stick, I burst into tears. He just kept calling me an asshole.

Much, much later, we're in bed and he says "It's 12:10, you know it's not April Fool's Day anymore, right?" My response? "You know I'm still knocked up, right?"

And then I fell asleep while he freaked out. :)

So, now I absolutely love April Fool's Day. It reminds me of Lilest and she's 1/2 of my heart. And if you know her, it's hilarious that I found out on this day that she was in my belly. :)


badvillemojo said...

Ah...I just love it!! And on my birthday no less, kids are the world's way of reminding us that there is, indeed still hope regardless of how dark this world gets! They remind of us of innocence, they remind us of our own youth and even our failings. They remind us of all these things and we feel better for it. We get to relearn everything we've ever learned through their eyes and that is a special thing!

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