I know I’m a neurotic mom. I try to hide it well. Sometimes I’m really good at that, other times not so much. Now, I’m not saying if I ran with every neurotic thought that runs screaming into my noggin that my monkeys would end up living in plastic bubbles. Even I will admit I’m not THAT bad. Besides, I couldn’t really fit those in my highest safety rating family vehicle.
The monkeys are now 6 and almost 5 and rather bright lil girls. I know they need the room to start exhibiting some independence and I’ve been working on that. I’m all about it at home and in controlled environments and had been really proud about branching out. Over the summer I began to allow them to go into public bathrooms on their own. Meaning, I stand right outside the main bathroom door and they go in together, do what they need to do and come out. Until this past Tuesday, I thought this was a great way for them to feel like big girls and still remain safe.
I think it will be a long time before I do that again.
It started with a text from my sister shortly after 6:00pm. She’d ventured to Hobby Lobby and was texting me pictures of all the Christmas stuff they had up. When my alert went off again, expected to see a giant fur-trimmed, bright pink leopard prin stocking. Instead I received franticness. One of those brief moments that occurs that makes you question humanity. Or am I making too much out of it?
Here are the details:
She walked into the clearly labelled ladies room. Straight ahead was the open door to the handicapped stall, so she went in. Standing in the stall was a man peeing. If it were me, I’d have probably gasped and started apologizing. She just quietly backed out (thinking “oh shit I walked in the mens room!”) and went to find a male employee to tell him about the incident.
Now, there are some understandable reasons this may occur. Say, if it were a bar or there was a mental/cognitive handicap of some sort. Unfortunately neither of these were true. In fact this man actually worked for Hobby Lobby in loss prevention. Not only that, it’s his moonlighting job so-to-speak. His real job? Local law enforcement.
So…
A sober, male law enforcement agent walks into a clearly labelled women’s bathroom in a very family-orientated craft store in which he actually works IN LOSS PREVENTION (read he needs to know that store inside and out) and proceeds to leave the door completely open while he whips it out to pee. My almost 5 and 6 year old know the difference between the mens and womens bathrooms. They also know to close and lock the door when they are in a stall.
His response when confronted by my sister and the male employee “I thought I heard someone walk in.” That’s it. No “omg, I’m so sorry, I have no idea how that happened.” No remorse. No apology.
There is nothing in this that tells me this was just an accident. And it beyond creeps me out. I know that if I had been there and the girls had to tinkle, I would have let them go in while I stood outside the door. They would have gone straight to that stall because they could both go in it together. And they would have seen a grown man with his penis in his hand. They would have screamed, I would have run in and that guy would have been knocked the truck out by me. Forget the junkpunch. I would have been in full on mama bear mode. It would not have been pretty.
Am I overreacting? Is the neurotic in me running amuck? Do you think this was just some accident?
HELP! :)
Report it. Hobby Lobby corporate should hear about this. Its 1) gross. 2) totally unacceptable. 3) very creepy. (I could go on and on.)
ReplyDeleteIf it were me - I'd have screamed bloody murder. No man should be in a ladies room. No man should be in a ladies room pissing with the door wide open.
Seriously - contact their corporate headquarters and report him.
{{hugs}} I hope you are well hun. Now I want to wrap you AND your lil monkeys in bubble wrap to protect you three. <3
I don't think you are overreacting at all. I would have been in shock and then outraged. ANY store would have taken this incident seriously because god forbid they get some sort of lawsuit thrown in their face! I am actually more surprised by the fact that the store did not take this seriously than to the fact that creeps like this exist. In addition, I thought Hobby Lobby is associated with some Christian religious group (that's why they are closed on Sundays so their employees could worship the Lord. Or maybe it is just in my area?) I am of course not saying just because they are Christian, I expect them to be more family friendly, but that is the whole vibe I am getting from Hobby Lobby's whole "We are devout Christian and we are very nice" angle. If I had girls, I would still go in the bathroom with them. Perhaps you could compromise by going in with them to make sure that there are no weird sightings and then wait for them outside?
ReplyDeletep.s. I am actually wishing you were there instead of your sister. That guy clearly is asking for a junkpunch.
That is terrible. I totally agree with the whole calling corporate. That's a creepy dude. I don't think you're overreacting at all. That's a pretty reasonable response to something like that happening. If I'd have been at the store souls would have been eaten. My mom didn't stop going into bathrooms with me until I was like 8 or something...unless it was a small bathroom or a single stall. I think though the idea already suggested.....checking the bathroom first....is a great idea and compromise.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT overreacting. At.all. Because, I would have done the same exact thing. You Obviously have every right to go to corporate and bitch. This guy obviously knew he wasn't supposed to be there in the ladies room and not locking the door was like he was planning something (at least that's how it seems to me)
ReplyDeleteWow! Yeah I don't think you're over reacting. And by what the person in question said, “I thought I heard someone walk in.”, to me doesn't sound like they made a mistake in the bathrooms. I would say go to the police, but I doubt that would do any good, considering his other job.
ReplyDeleteWow, that sucks that happened. Honestly, I'm getting rather annoyed at this situation and I'm hearing about it second hand...
From the little I know about you, you seem to be an awesome person. Stuff like this shouldn't happen to awesome people or their families. I'm very sorry it did. Take the suggestion from Sara and contact Corporate HQ, and also file a report with the police (if you still can).
I hope this all has a positive conclusion for you.
I don't think you are overreacting in the least. As a father of two girls, there is no reason for the behavior of this person. I'm sad as a male that their are other males in this world who are so inconsiderate and act so inappropriately. If one of my daughters had walked in on this, I, like you, would have most likely beaten the man senseless. I may be only 5'6", but you would swear I'm 10 feet tall if my children are in danger.
ReplyDeleteYou need to report this to Hobby Lobby. They take pride in their family values and being closed on Sundays, so I think they would not be to happy with this hopefully soon to be former employee.
I'm 100% sure that you will keep your little ones safe, and "pity the fool" that gets out of line. Many hugs to you and your little ones.
Thank you all so much!!! Sadly, she contacted Susan Carpenter, Corporate Director of Human Resources for Hobby Lobby that night. Susan never responded. Wednesday morning my sister received a call from the Regional Manager, Edward. He stated they were going to look into the incident. The District Manager, Dwayne Fairchild, called her on Saturday stating they deemed it merely accident and no disciplinary action would be taken with their company AND with the local law enforcement agency Steve A. (womens bathroom without closing the stall door peer) works for.
ReplyDeleteGiven your description, I can't see how this was an accident. For one, coming from a male view point, a guy having to pee isn't looking for a stall, he's looking for a urinal, in the absence of a urinal the knowledge should have hit full force that this was a ladies room. Second considering the thought that maybe he really had to go and everything was full in the mens room and he checked the ladies room before entering to use it in a pinch, the stall should have been closed. In my opinion your sister ran into one of those creeps that likes to abuse the trust instilled in his authority.
ReplyDeleteI freely admit that I have used the women's restroom in times of emergency (obviously at public places, as anyone who labels their private bathrooms in such a manner is obviously sexist, possibly racist, and I just avoid them), but I don't think I would have done that in Hobby Lobby.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the story needs a little more context - I mean, I agree that if he just decided to use the women's bathroom because it was there, that's weird. If there were some other mitigating factors... I don't know.
He knew what he was doing. When I confronted him with, "what the hell were you doing using the women's bathroom?!?!?" he just looked at me & said,"oh. I thought someone walked in on me." I then said, "Excuse me?!?!?". He tried to claim it was a mistake whereupon I said, "bullshit! You knew what you were doing! You left the stall door open! Your first clue should have been the word "women" on the door. Your send clue should have been there were no urinals! The third clue was you LEFT the stall door WIDE open.". He looked. At me like I was the crazy one.
ReplyDeleteA woman knows when she's face-to-face with a man who got caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. AND most importantly, she knows when that "something" isn't "kosher".
~Tracy (Nat's Sister)
Why would any man need to use the women's bathroom "in a pinch"? They are nowhere near as crowded as the ladies restrooms are. That guy should lose his job in my opinion. What an asshole. I would have ripped him a new one if my girls had been exposed to that. I still go in the bathrooms with my 7 & 5 yr olds. Now I'm going to worry when my husband takes them places. He does the "Wait Outside the Door" thing with them when he takes them somewhere by himself. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't overreacting by any standards.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like he was fully aware of his actions. I would really consider reporting him to headquarters. I mean, that is a family store. The law enforcement thing really adds a whole other layer. Ickkkkk!
@AmyK - There have been plenty of times, but almost solely times where there were one-toilet bathrooms, such as at gas stations. I can't think of a time when I've used a women's restroom when the men's had several stalls -- why would I?
ReplyDeleteBut that is kinda weird that you've never personally experienced the immediate need to vacate your bladder. In such times, there is a lot of sharp pain involved. It's cool that you've managed to avoid it your entire life and all, but there it is; that's how it works.